Feeling discouraged but really just tired

Last year, in October, I tried doing a round of Whole30 and flopped because I hadn't planned well and wasn't prepared. I am prepping and psyching myself up to try again in July and three things keep giving me anxiety:

1. Coffee conundrum. I like xylitol in my coffee and I drink a lot of it.

2. What in the heck am I going to eat?

3. The prep

The prep is where it all falls apart for me. Is that true for you? I don't really know many people who are spontaneously and effortlessly peeling the carrots after a long  day of work. Yesterday after Costco, dinner, play time, and bath time, I went to do our regular grocery shopping. This was about  75% produce, which I am actually feeling pretty proud of. But then I needed to wash it, prep it, split up the huge packages of meat we got from Costco, and clean it all up. And when I say "need," I mean it y'all. The prep sets me up for so much success, and it's a sad set of dominoes that topple if I don't.

So after I was done, an hour after getting home from shopping, I ate a snack and hit a wall and just headed up to bed. I could feel that anxiety kicking in, thinking about how much more work I will have if I start a Whole30. I get nervous thinking about planning meals without a starch, honestly. I am not very adventurous when it comes to vegetables, so I get into a rut of broccoli and salads super quickly. 

I don't really have any pearls of wisdom to share about this topic. The only thing that comes to mind is just do it anyway. Prep the veggies even if you are tired. Push through for a few minutes, knowing that it's going to help on Tuesday when you oversleep and you're shoveling the food into baggies and trying not to sweat too much before you jump into the car to blast your body with the air conditioning.

Lastly, I am down 50 pounds since December. That feel great y'all.

Summer Goals

Today at Weight Watchers my very first WW leader was subbing for my regular leader. I realized I started WW for the first time in 2002. Almost 14 years ago! How is it possible that in 14 years I haven't figured this out? I have gained and lost 65-75 pounds 3 times already, and I am working on 75 for the fourth time. That is humbling y'all. People are dying of hunger in the world and I am dying of cheeseburgers.

After the meeting, someone stopped me to tell me how skinny I looked, and last week someone said I look like what she wants her "after" picture to look like. Oh my gosh y'all! Those are two fabulous compliments!! Since December I have lost 45 pounds and I really do feel great. When I hear something like that, it really gives me a little push and bounce in my step. I have been a bit off the rails lately and I am going to just get back on track.

My goal for this summer is to lose 25 pounds by the end of August. That's a lot. It's a Thanksgiving turkey. It's more than my daughter weighs. I am so so so close to fitting into old clothes and I am finally feeling healthy all of the time. 

I have a lot of things I want to say about losing weight and getting healthy. My cousin posts a lot about what she is eating and doing while she tries to make the Whole30 her for-real-lifestyle. I keep thinking about my WW life and how I will make that a lifestyle when I do get to Lifetime status. I'll be honest y'all, my default mode is still pretty junky, and heavy on the dairy and sugar.